Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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