I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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