I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
