bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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