Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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