Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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