Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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