im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it hurts more in the daytime
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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