I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
People in love make me want to vomit
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
