her vagine was all disorganized.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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