There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
