Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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