Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
