You're earring is so big in my mouth
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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