Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
