If i come over, it means nothing
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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