Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
