Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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