Where did you get a picture of my penis
I should be sponsored by Trojan
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
