I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
