Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
