watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
