ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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