When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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