I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
