we need to drink 2009 down the drain
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
