so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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