I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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