:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
