lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize