I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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