I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
