I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
