You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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