Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.