Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2465) Bad night (468)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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  (612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5
  Replies (27) Good night (503) Bad night (3747) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  why does my vagina smell like weed?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg thats a great idea

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  (610): why does my vagina smell like weed? (215): omg thats a great idea http://tfl.nu/ft3y
  Replies (30) Good night (4189) Bad night (720)
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  (805): View more from California

  just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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  (805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75
  Replies (7) Good night (6245) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me

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  (321): i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me http://tfl.nu/5b8j
  Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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  (205): Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high. http://tfl.nu/wyb4
  Replies (15) Good night (4885) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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  (605): Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great." http://tfl.nu/846x
  Replies (15) Good night (2454) Bad night (2711) Order T-Shirt
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  (738): View more from

  I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.

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  (738): I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog. http://tfl.nu/tlok
  Replies (22) Good night (918) Bad night (3771) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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  (423): By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/7ckj
  Replies (15) Good night (3045) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.

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  (316): Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick. http://tfl.nu/0lwp
  Replies (15) Good night (1395) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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  (978): I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them. http://tfl.nu/nsss
  Replies (8) Good night (1539) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.

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  (570): it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing. http://tfl.nu/57qo
  Replies (4) Good night (784) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party

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  (519): I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party http://tfl.nu/i9gg
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"

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  (612): Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here" http://tfl.nu/wz3j
  Replies (1) Good night (1126) Bad night (209)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that

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  (775): I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that http://tfl.nu/rttq
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt

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