I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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