is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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