Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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