hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
