I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize