i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize