i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
