Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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