No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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