I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
