I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
