oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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