we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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