The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
