Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize