Got a toothbrush?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
