The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
