Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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