good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The power of my boobs compel you
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
